a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
