evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
it's like heaven, but drunker
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
