Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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