i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
