just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
