She announced her abortion via fbk
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
