I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
