Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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