There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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