Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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