im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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