I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
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It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
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Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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