I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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