There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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