I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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