just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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