So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
