I hope mine doesn't look like that
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
