The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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