There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
