Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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