Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
