i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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