I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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