I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
