filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
