used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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