My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
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Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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