I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
