he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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