guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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