sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize