Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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