wake up i wanna do it froggy style
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
