Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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