Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
high people should be assigned attendants
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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