i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The adults are the big ones right?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
