12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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