He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So vagazzling was a success
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
