Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
