This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He better not be in your backpack
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
