I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize