Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
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My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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