I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
