I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
