Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
