You really coming over, don't trick.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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