Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
