yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
