If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I need water and some morals
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
