He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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