You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize