PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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