Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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