I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
