I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
