I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
dude. I can hear the air.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
