ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
