Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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