dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I want her autograph on my taint
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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