Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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