No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
