Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
