Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
