I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Banned from zoo.
Again?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
