im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Are my feet made of real feet?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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